#Ganjaeffect #Surrealart #Ramblingsofastoner
Do you know what does the core of the universe look like?? Do you know how you transcend past the ugly world of dead crows and run over dogs through a pyre of stateless zones, moving into the eternal world of darkness which dwells in the ultimate eternity of your mind, till your brain zones into the core, the very core where the light and ugliness of the world retreats from your memory and the innermost darkness which is your light, your purest light envelops you in a shroud of darkness??
I don’t like to talk, I make less mistakes in writing. So I closed my eyes after consuming two full balls of green explosives and I slowly felt the light of the external world fading out. I felt a second eyelid falling over my eyes and I a miniscule throbbing entity becoming one with infinity. It’s a journey in motion, a whirlwind carrying the self in to a void where the body becomes buoyant and the entire weight concentrates at the nape of the neck and the depth of the brain. A numbness entraps me as my soul escapes from the vessel and I morph into an objective voyeuristic perspective, observing the delirious, incoherent ramblings of human sub consciousness as it tumbles down like an effervescing aerated drink. I am a gramophone recorder, recording all the gyrating motions of the psyche which is spilling all over the place, corroding the floor, stinking up the bed, filling the enclosed stuffy humid airless brown black silhouetted room with incense, while I see, I see everything with dilated pupils and swaying wonder!!
There are blue lights inside my room, they emanate from little dots of fibre bulbs, half-illuminating the circle of my enclosure. There are shadows dancing on the walls as the dream-box starts trembling. The night-bird begins to call at a distance; the bulbs shatter and the liquid blue vitriolic oceanic blue light flows down the table like blood floating down a chumming girl’s thighs; it spreads itself on the floor, welcoming, rolling, giggling; intimidated infuriated it seeps into the ground; lost gone forgotten. There will be bloodshot eyes, there will be blood rolling down one’s cheeks, there will be blue blood soaked in iron, rusty, redundant, And there will be a roaring God, a sententious priest and a pitiful deviant, with two horns and a tail and in the end the trannies and the homos and the crippled will be triumphant, because we are bored with conformity. From above my spectacles I saw blue roses blossoming from the little wires that emanated the blue light. My enclosure tilts little by little as I begin to slide, then someone snaps the wire. I die a slow death.
I’m walking down a metallic tunnel, silvery and vacant. There’s only a glaring neon light. I hear nothing but a monotonous high-pitched peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiii sound in my brain, a sound that one hears after a radio station closes for the night. This is the only sound I hear, it has enraptured my consciousness. It’s a labyrinthine void. Friends I await you.
Sometimes when you are out of this world, living in a Freudian realm, you try to prove to people, you’re joking, seldom understanding you are the joker. You convince others “m ok! M ok”, but really you don’t know and know you have transcended your gut wrenching repulsions, repugnance, snobbish squeamishness; squirming, cringing at the vermin infested feet of an aghori, walking the archaic, prehistoric lanes with an imaginary snake slithering down his body, plethora of human skulls dancing beneath his upturned feet, stinking, rotten, wonderful, heart wrenching. In my cultured disgust and animal desire to go near the feet I wondered who AM I? WHAT IS MY NAME? MY NAME IS A SYMBOL that will identify me as another product amidst this clones of machines. I am so obsessed with my IDENTITY, what not have I done, will I do to thrust my Identity in the face of the world. Where WILL the I of my everyday me disappear TO after my death. How will I find myself again carrying the I of this life into the next life. Till when will I remain synchronized with my I??? M I wooden plank in a rain soaked forest, enclosed with wild flowers? M I a sponge that is slowly soaking in the dung and incense of Banaras? I see heaps, mountains, temples, synagogues of garbage on my way to Duty. I sit at a distance from the Ganga arati and I hear the ringing of bells and incantations, I unite, blend in, with the cosmos like two entwined snakes during coitus.
SONNET NUMBER NINE NINETY NINE
I see a twinkling light above my fussy black and brown head,
It’s the eye of a leopard caught in between market lights and marked darkness
Moving from one prey to another, sterilized, cautious, dead;
Emerald green is our family balcony railings
PARAKEET green wings fluttering away, blurring
Just a speck, then PUFF!!
There was seen a red light inside a burning room
The air filled with sulphur and fumes
And an angel with ebony wings and stink of old spice
Intervened from purgatory,
An unwanted outgrowth of a mushroom.
Dreamt of making it big in the big bad ROOM! Jeer up!
They see flowing rivers, floating bodies; dried rivers, bodies stuck in the mud.
Why the heck do you always nip it in the bud??